I think it’s really unfortunate that families can fall apart when coping with a dying loved one. We all have a lot of different ways we want to deal with our own feelings and the situations and it can cause horrible clashes and rifts between people. Instead of focusing on being a family and supporting one another in the endeavor to make someone’s life as comfortable as it can be, things are turned so that everyone is vying to get their word in on how they think it should be handled.
The sad truth is that regardless of all the fighting and arguing the person is going to die. All the static just slows down the process in which things can get done and time in which you could spend loving someone who is leaving you is significantly cut down. It’s a time for closure with someone dear to you and should also be used as a time to give and recieve support from your family members, bond with them so that the grief can be shared between everyone.
When that person is gone, life for you will go on. You’ll be held responisble for your actions, you’ll have to face people that you may have disagreed with, and most of all you will still be part of the family. This is not the time to burn bridges, it’s not the time to act without thinking. It’s a time when actions and words must be thought about with the utmost of care. EVERYONE will be affected.
Love you all <3
Yes, Rifts between family members is sad, but sometimes that is a road that is traveled, whether one wants to travel on it or not. You see, when there is a terminally ill family member, and their needs are not placed as the number one priority, disagreements will ensue. Putting priorities into perspective, that is tough, but relationship risks are there. Providing dignity, compassion, caring, love and understanding for some one that is terminally ill comes with costs, and sometimes those costs are other relationships. But, the priority should always be for the ill person first, mending other relationships will hopefully follow. It is called Hope beyond Hope in my book. The glass is always 1/2 full, until it no longer contains anything. Sometimes Hope is all you have, and that is what you hang on to daily. Keeping that in perspective gives one the will to go on. This lesson in life is one of the hardest, and until one actually steps into that particular caretaker role, you can not ever grasp the magnitude and the need for continued HOPE & Love.
Comment by Shelly — September 20, 2008 @ 10:03 pm