Bonsai Blog

March 3, 2009

Joey and I: 1 year, 1 month, 1 day

Filed under: Back Home — Tags: , , , — Paul @ 12:51 am

Mmmm, possibly give or take a day. It’s hard with 2008 being a leap year and all.

But the one year mark is a great milestone in our relationship and definitely the most stable and longest relationship I’ve been in. And of course I’m with the best guy <3 This is a pretty awesome thing for me considering the tough time I’ve had finding guys who are more than skin deep (Japan, America, and otherwheres). You’re great Joey <3 Looking forward to 1 and a half.

Small bit of realism shown in on the typical “gays only have hookups” stereotypes.

November 11, 2008

Olbermann

Filed under: Back Home — Tags: , , , , — Paul @ 1:42 pm

Here’s Olbermann’s special comment on Prop 8 and I feel it should resonate with everyone.  It coincides completely with my beliefs about the issue.  And above all, I think it is very pertinent in light of how hard some Christian denominations worked to influence the government.  The Mormons seem to be very upset no that people are holding them accountable for their actions during the ‘Yes on 8′ campaign, but really, they need to be held responsible for the part they played.  Should they really get to pay no taxes but stick their foot into the government?

I think this is a worthwhile read for anyone, no matter how you feel on the issue.  You can go to MSNBC’s site and watch it if you’d like here.

—————

Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.

Some parameters, as preface. This isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics, and this isn’t really just about Prop-8.  And I don’t have a personal investment in this: I’m not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.

And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics. This is about the human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.

If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don’t want to deny you yours. They don’t want to take anything away from you. They want what you want—a chance to be a little less alone in the world.

Only now you are saying to them—no. You can’t have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don’t cause too much trouble.  You’ll even give them all the same legal rights—even as you’re taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can’t marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn’t marry?

I keep hearing this term “re-defining” marriage. If this country hadn’t re-defined marriage, black people still couldn’t marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal in 1967. 1967.

The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn’t have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it’s worse than that. If this country had not “re-defined” marriage, some black people still couldn’t marry black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not “Until Death, Do You Part,” but “Until Death or Distance, Do You Part.” Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.

You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are gay.

And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing, centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children, all because we said a man couldn’t marry another man, or a woman couldn’t marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage.

How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the “sanctity” of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?

What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don’t you, as human beings, have to embrace… that love? The world is barren enough.

It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.

And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling.  With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?

With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate… this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness—this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness—share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate.

You don’t have to help it, you don’t have it applaud it, you don’t have to fight for it. Just don’t put it out. Just don’t extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don’t know and you don’t understand and maybe you don’t even want to know. It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow person just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.

This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.

But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:

“I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam,” he told the judge. It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all: So I be written in the Book of Love; I do not care about that Book above. Erase my name, or write it as you will, So I be written in the Book of Love.”

August 15, 2008

Growing misconceptions

Filed under: Back Home — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Paul @ 1:52 am

ASome people believe that our country is a single religion nation. It is not.  We were built on the basis of freedom, a term we toss around at every turn yet seldom admit what it really means.  To some we’re only free when it suits their religious psuedo-political ideals.  Just because something is against your religion doesn’t mean you have to ban everything outright.  Why is it that right wing neo conservatives feel the need to buckle down the whole country to a certain religion’s standards?

Lack of religion is causing our country to lose their morals. Nope, wrong again.  There’s a lot of factors that play into this, including bad parenting, misguided government control, etc etc.  I think a lot of what happened here is that people started to take advantage of our ‘freedom’ without fully taking on the included responsibilities.  We’re supposed to WATCH THE NEWS.  We’re supposed to FOLLOW CAMPAIGNS.  We’re supposed to be ACTIVE IN OUR COMMUNITY.  But of course as long as we GET WHAT WE WANT as SOON AS WE WANT IT, we’re happy.  We’re a fat culture, in more ways than ever.

Our government cannot be trusted. That actually sounds like something someone on the right wing would say.  The fact is, it’s Bush that can’t be trusted.  I am so gung ho about people getting their faith restored in our government it’s not even funny.  I want people to see tangible effects of the government doing positive things here and abroad.  We don’t need to help anyone else right now (Iraq), what we need is to clean up our own country and take the initiative to help out.

There will be change once a new president is elected. This one I’m really worried about.  I’m not so much against a conservative president, but McCain?  No.  People…how has Bush helped us?  Really?  It’s ridiculous that we’d even consider a presidential conidate that has so much in common with our current caricature of a president.  Obama at least should’ve gotten a decent rival.  One that wouldn’t make me want to leave the country if he were to be elected.

As a closing thought, do we really exist?  There has yet to be proof.  One day at a time.  Live and then die.  Let’s not squander our time making artificial rules that mean nothing in the grand scheme of time.

In perspective, I can’t get married.  Why?  Because the religious right thinks it’s an abomination.  I didn’t choose to be gay.  To put it bluntly, I do not want to procreate.  As in I have no interest in doing what is required.  That is definitely a genetic trait that is abnormal, seeing as how most males want to get as much tail as they can, but it’s not something to cry witch over either.

I will die.  Whether or not I die happy in the arms of my husband does not seem like a choice that is fair to make by another person.  I hate how people choose these witch hunt topics that never have anything to do with what’s really going on.  Love is biological, it’s not religious.  Don’t make it something it’s not.  And last time I checked, love was not offensive.

July 29, 2008

I had the most amazing day

Filed under: Back Home — Tags: , , , — Paul @ 2:50 am

Joey and I went to Mall of America to celebrate our 6 months of dating, half a year, whoo!  It was amazing.  He is amazing.  Our relationship is amazing.

I’ll detail tomorrow, it’s ten to three and I want to sleep.  But I had a lovely day and I love my boyfriend.  Plus a random chick told us we were a cute couple while we were walking past.

July 16, 2008

T-t-t-tech post!

Filed under: Tech — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Paul @ 12:53 am

Let’s take a break from political rantings and overreactions (I’m not quite as serious as I seem) to look at the newest tech pieces in my life!

PLAYSTATION 3 ::  It’s amazing.  I bought this awhile ago, back in the beginning of June, but I never really updated on it.  I had a huge thing about PS3 vs 360 ecetera.  In the end I decided to go with the newer console, a lot to do with the fact I had been waiting since January for the Metal Gear Solid 4 bundle pack to come out.  I never wanted the 40GB model because of no backwards compatibility.  I have no PS2 so I wanted to access to (most) of that library.  Plus the pack came with a DualShock 3 vs SIXAXIS (lacking rumble support for games).  I could’ve cared less about Metal Gear Solid 4, but just the hardware that came in the deal… it was $500 though.  I got it at Target though so that saved me $100, after employee discount and opening a credit card.  Hey, gotta get my credit score up as well, so mindaswell.  Only a $200 limit because it was my first and such, but not to bad considering I got approved.  Already payed that off, I had all the money just wanted the extra discount.

After playing the included game, Metal Gear Solid 4, I fell in love with it.  That game is pure genius.  Yes, it is more like an interactive CGI movie than a game, but WOW.  The storyline (I went in knowing nothing about the previous 3 games) was so enthralling.  I actually cared about what happened to the people.  Deep storytelling lead to emotional involvement from the player.  So anyways, that was amazing.

The PS3 is also amazing in my opinion.  The main selling points for me were the wireless (pay an extra $100 on the 360?! No thanks!) and the Blu Ray support.  Now that Blu is the standard for the next gen disc based media I don’t need to wonder if I’d have a useless pile of junk on my hands.  Plus obviously the games can be huge and only need 1 disc.  Final Fantasy XIII may be coming out on the 360, but who wants to switch discs?  =p

In short I consider it one of my best purchases.  Online support is great too.

New laptop! With my graduation gifts I put it together with my parents to buy a new laptop for college this fall.  My last one was nice but was a bit bulky and getting slow.  I needed an upgrade.  So I got a wonderful new HP which has an amazin bit of art coveringm well, all of it.  Outside…inside…it’s really snazzy and themed after Asian art, so it looks fantastic.  Plus it has bluetooth, wireless n support, webcam, etc.  The new 14.1 size is SO MUCH BETTER for portability too!  I don’t actually feel like using it for a desktop anymore because it’s so nice and light to carry around.

Oh, and it has Vista.  Honestly…don’t believe all the crap people give it.  I knew it wasn’t bad, hasn’t treated me badly, and really just takes some getting used to (as do all new things).  It is a step in the right direction for Microsoft’s OS.  Whether or not that’s what goes down in the history books is another matter, but mainstream media rarely has anything positive to report on.  That’s not what sells.

E3 – Electronics Entertainment Expo What can I say?  Wholly underwhelming.  Microsoft by far did the best job, but even that wasn’t like OH MY GOODNESS AWESOME.  Nintendo gave a lackluster showing focusing mainly on casual games appealing to the ‘whole family’.  Frankly, Ninty needs to hold back a bit and make some new games for people who actually bought the Wii to play things that DON’T involve personal avatars you created.  Wait, buying a Wii for actual gaming?  Yeah…that is silly.

Sony really didn’t reveal anything amazing either.  It was mostly just trailers, nothing too new.  HOME still needs to be released, as does LittleBigPlanet.  On the horizon we’ve got Resident Evil 5 to look forward to, as well as the Final Fantasy XIII game(s).

Yep.  That’s it on the tech horizon right now.  Waiting to upgrade my phone until Google’s Android software makes its official debut.  Yes…I still save money too after all these gadgets.  My boyfriend thinks I work too much.  I probably do.  Target does expect a lot out of you for really very unimpressive pay.  I’m constantly looking for new jobs, probably going to go into Web design soon which is much more profitable because of the specialized skills needed.

OH!  Almost forgot.  Bought a book on game programming for XNA Studio, which is sweet.  Got one for beginners because I know very very little about C++ and nothing really about C#.  That’s my career of choice though, so I really want to begin learning on my own.  Little steps.

Next blog: religion.

December 31, 2007

Great Song

Filed under: Back Home, Rant — Tags: , — Paul @ 1:12 am

A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like, “You and me, babe, how about it?”

Juliet says, “Hey, it’s Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack”
He’s underneath the window, she’s singing
“Hey, la, my boyfriend’s back
You shouldn’t come around here, singing up people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?”

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet, and you exploded in my heart
And I forget, I forget.. the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals?

Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
Now you just say, “Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him”

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, “I love you like the stars above, I love you till I die”
And there’s a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

I can’t do the talk, like the talk on the TV
And I can’t do a love song, like the way it’s meant to be
I can’t do everything, but I’d do anything for you
I can’t do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, and the bad company
And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of Orion
Juliet, I’d do the stars with you any time

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, “I love you like the stars above, I’ll love you till I die”
There’s a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

A lovestruck Romeo, he sings the streets of serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Find a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like, “You and me, babe, how about it?”

- Romeo and Juliet, by the Dire Straits

Love stories never turn out.  I’ll be honest, I miss you.

September 1, 2007

Lounging Around

Filed under: Back Home, Japan in America, Re-Adjusting — Tags: , , , , , , , — Paul @ 7:11 pm

Yesterday I had to go out to do some last minute stuff, which really wore me out.  Went to get a new cellphone, Sidekick 3, so now I officially am connected again.  I miss my old au phone of course though, never forget.  I got a haircut too, I think it looks decent.  Then I did some shopping and got two new shirts at American Eagle and two shirts at Abercrombie.  Couldn’t find any decent skinny fit jeans, store suggestions?  I like the scene look.

Anyways, today I’ve been just doing nothing.  Really tired out and stuff.  I won’t be able to go to the State Fair tomorrow either, which sucks.  My throat still hurts and everything too.  And last night I had a dream about seeing some of my Japanese friends and it put me in a bad mood.  *sigh*

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